You're Everything, You're Everything

I have been in a weird spot lately. I have been not been taking time to stop from the craziness of life to have  time to talk with God. I know that I need to, now I just have to remember everyday. As I strive to follow Him more and more this becomes more apparent to me. Christ is everything to me.  

This I know to be true: My relationship with Jesus Christ is the most important thing in my life. My faith and life in Christ is the best thing to ever happen to me. I know that Christ has given me knew life in Him because of His death and resurrection on the cross and the freedom from sin and death. I know I will live with Him in heaven forever after my life here on this earth. I He is all I need, and will give me everything I need in life. He is here for me, and for everyone in this same capacity. Spending time with Him will allow my relationship with Him to grow. I cannot wait for what else He has in store for me. 

Our Darkness is Never Darkness

The night is far gone; the day is at hand. So then let us cast off the works of darkness and put on the armor of light.
(Romans 13:12 ESV)

I read this verse the other day while doing some quiet time, and it really stood out to me. So many times I get lost in the darkness and think that I am all alone. I fall pray to my temptations and to the schemes of the devil. I try to solve my problems in my own way or on my own; completely forgetting God and all He has to offer me. This verse gives me hope.
God is always with me, and will always be with me, even in the darkness. He will never leave me. Not only is He the light, but He gives me the "armor of light". All this makes me think is that He gives me a way ti defend myself from the devil and sin, and a weapon to ward them off all at the same time. He gives me the Bible, a community of encouraging fellow believers in my friends and family, and His presence.
God will always be with me, I just have to remember that He is the light and will always overcome the darkness.

What & Why

Why did this happen? Why do I not follow You better? Why can't I just undoubtedly believe that Your plan is the best?

What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to be learning? What is the next step? What are You doing?

These are some of a few questions that continually come in and out of mind as of late. I don't know why I had to experience this pain, why I do not follow God and get into the Bible more, why I don't dully trust the awesome plan that God has for me, what God is doing with me, what He wants me to be learning, or what He wants me to do. All I know how to do right now is ask questions (to God and trusted friends), read the Bible, and pray. Beyond this, nothing has brought me much relief. With this pain and confusion I cling to this:
          "In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world."
                                                                                                         - Jesus @ John 16:33
God will get me through because He has been through it all and has defeated anything that could ever hold me back. Sometimes I forget this and think that satan has some kind of power that might actually be able to hinder God and his omnipotency, and I'm wrong. When Jesus died on the cross and rose again from the dead three days later, He destroyed my sin and Satan's power once and for all. All satan is now is just the biggest sore loser that the world has ever known and he goes around trying to get the other team (believers) sad and down on themselves making them think they will never be good enough. TOO BAD SATAN!!!! "We've already won and you don't stand a chance!" God defeated you through Christ's death and resurrection, and you don't have power over anything besides the sin we commit.

So while I am confused, I live knowing God has won and that He will make my best path for me.

-Matt

Confusion. Mystery. Peace.

God works in mysterious ways. What a phrase. We hear this typically in reference to some act that occurs in someone's life that isn't unbelievable, but is either extremely weird or is so trite an occurrence (getting a good parking spot, finding our wallet or keys when we've misplaced them, etc.). I think we all too often hear this, or say it and don't actually remember the true meaning of the word "mysterious".

"Mysterious" speaks of things we don't understand (hence the root word being 'mystery'...) and things that we cannot fathom. This is precisely the manner in which God works, or at least I know it is how He works in my life. Lately I have been so very confused about the things that I am supposed to be learning from God in my life. There are so many things that are happening in ways that other's would see as coincidence; yet, I know its God. Do I know what exactly He's doing or trying to show me? Heck no. If I did that would take away this whole "mysterious" aspect. Even though I know that He is working for my good, some days I wish there was no mystery. I wish I knew the way everything would happen, but I look at that and realize that if I did that, it would be the furthest thing from what I want and what I am supposed to do. That's ultimately a selfish act. To worry so much about the future and what God has in store for me that I give up today. The amazing quality time that He has given me. Right. Now. 

This leads me too another thought that hit me again the other day. I say again, because this is something that I have known for a while; however, I don't always do it. God is at work in my life all the time. This is something that I'm pretty sure I have been taught for like 20+ years now (for those of you who know how old I am, you can figure it out). God is showing up and showing me Himself and what He wants for me in ways that I can perceive, but I don't see it. Do I not see it because God operates in some dimension that is outside of our realm known as "the real world"? No! God operates in our world. On the same plane of existence as ourselves. The reason I don't see what He is doing in my life all the time or what He wants me to learn is because I don't take time to stop and listen enough. All I have to do is pay attention to things going on around me in more detail and explore (through prayer and the Word) if some of the things that are happening could be from God. If I just take the time to remember He is always working, and then just listen, I will hear and see what He is doing in my life. 

I did this the other night. I listened to God. I prayed and listened to Him in my car driving back to school. My prayers where not long, and where often full of questions. Most of this time I just spent keep my eyes, ears, and mind open to what God would have me learn. While I didn't get any specific answers at all, He did give me on thing; Peace. I cannot remember the last time I experienced peace as did during this time of prayer in my car. God let me let go of the worries and anxieties that I was clinging to and just be. Just be the Man of God he created me to be, focusing on Him, relaxing, and knowing that He will take care of my troubles. One of my friends shared a Bible verse with me about peace the other night:

"Now may the Lord of peace himself give you peace at all times and in every way. The Lord be with all of you." - 2 Thessalonians 3:16

God gave me His peace, and it was amazing. I pray that I will learn how to experience His grace more and more fully. I was not understanding what God was going to do in that time of prayer (it was a mystery), but by paying attention to Him and listening He should me how amazing prayer and peace are. 

I pray that I will now continue to pray like this and that I will always be looking for how God is working in my life everyday.

-Matt

Surely You're Goodness & Mercy Will Follow Me.

I have found myself lately trying to be "the god" of my life. I have been trying to be the person that makes the plans in my life, and I know that I am the worst at figuring out my life; nonetheless, I catch myself trying to do that a lot lately. I do trust God and the amazing plans He has ahead of me for my life, I just hate the part where I can't already see what is going to happen and how all of the pain and craziness that I'm doing will work for good in my life. It's hard. As humans, we want to control our lives and how everything will workout for us. This is not how it's supposed to be. God is the one in control. He has given me "a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105). I can see my feet, and right in front of me, but beyond that, I cannot see. God has it all figured out, and is showing me what is happening in my life, and beyond that I don't need to worry about. He has it all figured out, and I don't need to worry about anything and just focus on today, so why do I need anymore than "a light for my feet"?

God has told me that He will work everything for good for those who love Him and are following Him (my paraphrase of Romans 8:28), and also that putting my trust in Him will make my path straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). So as I am in this part of life that is full of pain and confusion I pray to God that His Will be done, and NOT mine because He knows what is best for me. I also think of a lyric from an old hymn that goes like this "You lead me, and keep me from falling. You carry me close to Your heart. And surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me." God will carry me.

One day, I will see what all of this was for, and I will look back and thank God for the pain that has caused me to grow.

Longing for the Lord.

I am going to pretty open in this blog post. This is probably the most open I have ever been with the World (aka- the public), and I haven't been before because the public tends to be quite inconsiderate sometimes when you decide to truly tell them how you feel. In any case, here it goes. 

I am single. I do not wish to be, but this is what God wants for me right now. It has been a struggle for me lately. I have discussed this with some trusted friends, but today I received probably the best advice I have received yet from my friend Brian West. Brian and I discussed how right now I am longing to have a close and intimate relationship with a woman, which don't get me wrong, is a GREAT thing; however, it is only GREAT if my relationship with God (and that of the person I am dating) comes first in the relationship with one another, and when this doesn't happen the relationship is empty. So how does my wanting to have a close and intimate relationship with a woman relate to God? Brian helped me to see that what I need to do with my longing for a close and intimate relationship with a woman, is to turn that toward God. God has to come first in my life for anything else to work. I need to be longing for God and the Word (the Bible) to fill me and I need to have an intimate relationship with God; then, I will be able to truly have a GREAT relationship with a woman.

Now, all of this is much easier said than done. This is something that is going to take a lot of prayer, listening to God, patience, and some change on my part. If I start longing for a woman to fulfill these desires that I have, I will be turning this woman that I care deeply about into an idol and my relationship with God and with her will not be what it should be. I know that God will help me to figure out how and what this looks like for me in my life through prayer, listening to Him, and learning from fellow believers around me that are already longing for God and have an intimate relationship with Him. 

This is exciting for me. It will be an adventure, and I like adventures. God will lead me and be with me every step of the way. I may try to stray, but I will always follow Him in the end. 

-Matt

Worship & Rest

Saturday night, I was blessed with the opportunity to do a night of worship with some of my great friends at my home church, Christ the King, in Kingwood. This was a time where I got to play an awesome set of worship music with the help of 7 of my great friends. I had been looking forward to this night for over a month because the Youth Minister (my good friend Aaron Tomhave) at Christ the King and I had been discussing how everything was going to work since the beginning of October. The musicianship and passion that we all put into the prep work, rehearsal, and actual time of worship and leading the youth in worship was amazing and honestly only possible with God. It was such a blast!
Halfway through the set we stopped, and Aaron gave a direction to us all.

To stop.

For us to just be. To stop doing stuff and to listen to God. To hear what He has been saying to us, but we have just been to busy to hear Him. This was an awesome time for me. God told me I need more of this.

We then finished out with two more songs. One of which is a song called "With Everything" by Hillsong United. The refrain goes like this:
"With everything, with everything, we will shout for Your glory. With everything, with everything, we will shout forth Your praise."
The time of rest before this song allowed me to focus on Christ and get back into true worship just as I had been earlier.

The entire night was full of the Lord, and it taught/reminded me of two things:
1- That true worship with God is amazing and that it is something that is more than just singing and playing songs, but is a lifestyle.
2- I need to rest in God, and listen to Him.

Peace.
-Matt

Sitting. Waiting. Hoping.

Recently I had some stuff happen in my life that has had me: Sitting, Waiting, and Hoping. All of these things are aspects of me trying to be patient and listen to God. 

Sitting- This is my way of trying to make sure that I actually create the time I need to be with God. This is something that I struggle with all the time. One of THE most important things for me to do in my life, have time with God daily, is consequently one of the areas that satan tries to have me fail at a lot of the time. So sitting (time with God) is something I need.

Waiting- This is how I actually listen to God. This requires so much patience, and I frankly suck at being patient. God wants what is best for me. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 

God is working good for me and will tell me what that is, I just have to listen to Him patiently. Consequently, this is how Waiting (listening to God) is needed in my life.

Hoping- The one that I am typically good at all of the time. This is knowing that no matter what happens to me God is with me, and this is preparing myself for and pondering and wondering about the amazing, wonderful, beautiful, unknown blessings that He has in store for me in the future. My buddy Jesse Schaefer (Fighter) said it like this in his song "Hope":                

"I don't know what's a mile down the road. Will I get there at all if I go? 'Cause I'm searching for something that I don't know, this is all that I have this is hope. Then the old man said, 'Give it all that you can. We'll be on the ground to catch you when you fall."

I love thinking of hoping like this: I give it my all and strive for what I want and what I think God is showing me, and if I fall due to my failure, God will be there to catch me.

So, here I am.

Sitting. Waiting. Hoping. 

-Matt

The First of Many

Blogging. Something that I thought I would probably not do all of a sudden looks cool to me. All of the random information that will come to be held here on this place of electronic explication of my life will be things that I am learning or find important. I will be speaking of things that may seem like mindless details, or very important details; none the less, it will be about details. Through my life God is showing me that He is all around me in everything I do, and that by paying attention to the details I can learn more and more about Him. Here goes nothing.

-Matt