Why did this happen? Why do I not follow You better? Why can't I just undoubtedly believe that Your plan is the best?
What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to be learning? What is the next step? What are You doing?
These are some of a few questions that continually come in and out of mind as of late. I don't know why I had to experience this pain, why I do not follow God and get into the Bible more, why I don't dully trust the awesome plan that God has for me, what God is doing with me, what He wants me to be learning, or what He wants me to do. All I know how to do right now is ask questions (to God and trusted friends), read the Bible, and pray. Beyond this, nothing has brought me much relief. With this pain and confusion I cling to this:
"In this world you will have trouble, but take heart for I have overcome the world."
- Jesus @ John 16:33
God will get me through because He has been through it all and has defeated anything that could ever hold me back. Sometimes I forget this and think that satan has some kind of power that might actually be able to hinder God and his omnipotency, and I'm wrong. When Jesus died on the cross and rose again from the dead three days later, He destroyed my sin and Satan's power once and for all. All satan is now is just the biggest sore loser that the world has ever known and he goes around trying to get the other team (believers) sad and down on themselves making them think they will never be good enough. TOO BAD SATAN!!!! "We've already won and you don't stand a chance!" God defeated you through Christ's death and resurrection, and you don't have power over anything besides the sin we commit.
So while I am confused, I live knowing God has won and that He will make my best path for me.
-Matt
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