Surely You're Goodness & Mercy Will Follow Me.

I have found myself lately trying to be "the god" of my life. I have been trying to be the person that makes the plans in my life, and I know that I am the worst at figuring out my life; nonetheless, I catch myself trying to do that a lot lately. I do trust God and the amazing plans He has ahead of me for my life, I just hate the part where I can't already see what is going to happen and how all of the pain and craziness that I'm doing will work for good in my life. It's hard. As humans, we want to control our lives and how everything will workout for us. This is not how it's supposed to be. God is the one in control. He has given me "a lamp to my feet, and a light to my path." (Psalm 119:105). I can see my feet, and right in front of me, but beyond that, I cannot see. God has it all figured out, and is showing me what is happening in my life, and beyond that I don't need to worry about. He has it all figured out, and I don't need to worry about anything and just focus on today, so why do I need anymore than "a light for my feet"?

God has told me that He will work everything for good for those who love Him and are following Him (my paraphrase of Romans 8:28), and also that putting my trust in Him will make my path straight (Proverbs 3:5-6). So as I am in this part of life that is full of pain and confusion I pray to God that His Will be done, and NOT mine because He knows what is best for me. I also think of a lyric from an old hymn that goes like this "You lead me, and keep me from falling. You carry me close to Your heart. And surely Your goodness and mercy will follow me." God will carry me.

One day, I will see what all of this was for, and I will look back and thank God for the pain that has caused me to grow.

Longing for the Lord.

I am going to pretty open in this blog post. This is probably the most open I have ever been with the World (aka- the public), and I haven't been before because the public tends to be quite inconsiderate sometimes when you decide to truly tell them how you feel. In any case, here it goes. 

I am single. I do not wish to be, but this is what God wants for me right now. It has been a struggle for me lately. I have discussed this with some trusted friends, but today I received probably the best advice I have received yet from my friend Brian West. Brian and I discussed how right now I am longing to have a close and intimate relationship with a woman, which don't get me wrong, is a GREAT thing; however, it is only GREAT if my relationship with God (and that of the person I am dating) comes first in the relationship with one another, and when this doesn't happen the relationship is empty. So how does my wanting to have a close and intimate relationship with a woman relate to God? Brian helped me to see that what I need to do with my longing for a close and intimate relationship with a woman, is to turn that toward God. God has to come first in my life for anything else to work. I need to be longing for God and the Word (the Bible) to fill me and I need to have an intimate relationship with God; then, I will be able to truly have a GREAT relationship with a woman.

Now, all of this is much easier said than done. This is something that is going to take a lot of prayer, listening to God, patience, and some change on my part. If I start longing for a woman to fulfill these desires that I have, I will be turning this woman that I care deeply about into an idol and my relationship with God and with her will not be what it should be. I know that God will help me to figure out how and what this looks like for me in my life through prayer, listening to Him, and learning from fellow believers around me that are already longing for God and have an intimate relationship with Him. 

This is exciting for me. It will be an adventure, and I like adventures. God will lead me and be with me every step of the way. I may try to stray, but I will always follow Him in the end. 

-Matt

Worship & Rest

Saturday night, I was blessed with the opportunity to do a night of worship with some of my great friends at my home church, Christ the King, in Kingwood. This was a time where I got to play an awesome set of worship music with the help of 7 of my great friends. I had been looking forward to this night for over a month because the Youth Minister (my good friend Aaron Tomhave) at Christ the King and I had been discussing how everything was going to work since the beginning of October. The musicianship and passion that we all put into the prep work, rehearsal, and actual time of worship and leading the youth in worship was amazing and honestly only possible with God. It was such a blast!
Halfway through the set we stopped, and Aaron gave a direction to us all.

To stop.

For us to just be. To stop doing stuff and to listen to God. To hear what He has been saying to us, but we have just been to busy to hear Him. This was an awesome time for me. God told me I need more of this.

We then finished out with two more songs. One of which is a song called "With Everything" by Hillsong United. The refrain goes like this:
"With everything, with everything, we will shout for Your glory. With everything, with everything, we will shout forth Your praise."
The time of rest before this song allowed me to focus on Christ and get back into true worship just as I had been earlier.

The entire night was full of the Lord, and it taught/reminded me of two things:
1- That true worship with God is amazing and that it is something that is more than just singing and playing songs, but is a lifestyle.
2- I need to rest in God, and listen to Him.

Peace.
-Matt

Sitting. Waiting. Hoping.

Recently I had some stuff happen in my life that has had me: Sitting, Waiting, and Hoping. All of these things are aspects of me trying to be patient and listen to God. 

Sitting- This is my way of trying to make sure that I actually create the time I need to be with God. This is something that I struggle with all the time. One of THE most important things for me to do in my life, have time with God daily, is consequently one of the areas that satan tries to have me fail at a lot of the time. So sitting (time with God) is something I need.

Waiting- This is how I actually listen to God. This requires so much patience, and I frankly suck at being patient. God wants what is best for me. 

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." - Romans 8:28 

God is working good for me and will tell me what that is, I just have to listen to Him patiently. Consequently, this is how Waiting (listening to God) is needed in my life.

Hoping- The one that I am typically good at all of the time. This is knowing that no matter what happens to me God is with me, and this is preparing myself for and pondering and wondering about the amazing, wonderful, beautiful, unknown blessings that He has in store for me in the future. My buddy Jesse Schaefer (Fighter) said it like this in his song "Hope":                

"I don't know what's a mile down the road. Will I get there at all if I go? 'Cause I'm searching for something that I don't know, this is all that I have this is hope. Then the old man said, 'Give it all that you can. We'll be on the ground to catch you when you fall."

I love thinking of hoping like this: I give it my all and strive for what I want and what I think God is showing me, and if I fall due to my failure, God will be there to catch me.

So, here I am.

Sitting. Waiting. Hoping. 

-Matt

The First of Many

Blogging. Something that I thought I would probably not do all of a sudden looks cool to me. All of the random information that will come to be held here on this place of electronic explication of my life will be things that I am learning or find important. I will be speaking of things that may seem like mindless details, or very important details; none the less, it will be about details. Through my life God is showing me that He is all around me in everything I do, and that by paying attention to the details I can learn more and more about Him. Here goes nothing.

-Matt